As I was reading this week, there were two words that stood out to me; Time and Listen.
It just seems impossible to have time for everything some days. Between school, work, obligations, friends, family, and God, there just is not enough hours in the day. Something always gets the shaft and I am ashamed to say this but more often than not, it is God. *sigh* Wow, even just writing that out pains me and makes me feel so sad. Sad, that I turn away from the one who gave me so much, who gave His life for mine.
I am hurt so much when a friend doesn't make time for me. Yet, I turn around and do the same to Jesus. I know how it feels, I know how it hurts, but I say he understands. Yeah, he understands. He understands the same thing I understand when time isn't made for me; that you don't mean enough to that person, you are not a top priority.
And then when I do make time for Jesus, it is all about me. I ramble on and on about my life, my worries, my fears. I am easily distracted and he definitely does not have my undivided attention. But today, he tells me; Listen. And I'm listening...I hear his pain....I hear his hurt....
For the first time in a long time....I hear and I know what I want to do. I know that I don't want to cause any more pain. I want time and I want to listen.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Sunday, November 6, 2011
The Work and the Life
Today, I have figured out why my spiritual growth has been lacking. God has revealed to me through this chapter in Steps to Christ why I haven't grown and come closer to him. My problem: selfishness. I have been so absorbed in myself and my spiritual journey; focused on how I need to grow and how I feel that I'm not being reached. My focus, all wrong. I have been blessed with the knowledge of a loving Savior and what he can do in my life and yet I've been concerned how to get more from him. My focus should have been how to share what I have, how to reach those around me, then the "more" would have come.
That was not the only part of my life that self-interest has taken over but in everything I do it seems as though it is something to benefit myself. As I sit here, writing this I try and think of the last time that I did something for someone else that I was not required to do. I come up with nothing. rather I come with all the excuses I have made; "I need time for myself," "I need to do my schoolwork and study so I get can a really good grade," "I need to save my money, cause I am saving up to buy myself something." I can't go out and be a blessing on others because I am so focused on me and what I need. I'm not saying that these concerns do not have a place in my life, but they should not be the reason that I don't help others. I shouldn't place myself about someone else's need. When did I become so self-absorbed?
In this chapter I learned that "labors of love" are what bring you closer to Christ and that it is by unselfish effort that I work out my own salvation, but the source of it all is a truly converted heart. So as I give all to Christ, as I surrender, I need to stop looking at how this is going to benefit me. It's not about me, it's about those around me. What does this mean for me? As, I start my day, as I go about my week, I am going to look for opportunities to help, love, and serve those around me. That others become my focus, this is my prayer.
That was not the only part of my life that self-interest has taken over but in everything I do it seems as though it is something to benefit myself. As I sit here, writing this I try and think of the last time that I did something for someone else that I was not required to do. I come up with nothing. rather I come with all the excuses I have made; "I need time for myself," "I need to do my schoolwork and study so I get can a really good grade," "I need to save my money, cause I am saving up to buy myself something." I can't go out and be a blessing on others because I am so focused on me and what I need. I'm not saying that these concerns do not have a place in my life, but they should not be the reason that I don't help others. I shouldn't place myself about someone else's need. When did I become so self-absorbed?
In this chapter I learned that "labors of love" are what bring you closer to Christ and that it is by unselfish effort that I work out my own salvation, but the source of it all is a truly converted heart. So as I give all to Christ, as I surrender, I need to stop looking at how this is going to benefit me. It's not about me, it's about those around me. What does this mean for me? As, I start my day, as I go about my week, I am going to look for opportunities to help, love, and serve those around me. That others become my focus, this is my prayer.
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