Today, I have figured out why my spiritual growth has been lacking. God has revealed to me through this chapter in Steps to Christ why I haven't grown and come closer to him. My problem: selfishness. I have been so absorbed in myself and my spiritual journey; focused on how I need to grow and how I feel that I'm not being reached. My focus, all wrong. I have been blessed with the knowledge of a loving Savior and what he can do in my life and yet I've been concerned how to get more from him. My focus should have been how to share what I have, how to reach those around me, then the "more" would have come.
That was not the only part of my life that self-interest has taken over but in everything I do it seems as though it is something to benefit myself. As I sit here, writing this I try and think of the last time that I did something for someone else that I was not required to do. I come up with nothing. rather I come with all the excuses I have made; "I need time for myself," "I need to do my schoolwork and study so I get can a really good grade," "I need to save my money, cause I am saving up to buy myself something." I can't go out and be a blessing on others because I am so focused on me and what I need. I'm not saying that these concerns do not have a place in my life, but they should not be the reason that I don't help others. I shouldn't place myself about someone else's need. When did I become so self-absorbed?
In this chapter I learned that "labors of love" are what bring you closer to Christ and that it is by unselfish effort that I work out my own salvation, but the source of it all is a truly converted heart. So as I give all to Christ, as I surrender, I need to stop looking at how this is going to benefit me. It's not about me, it's about those around me. What does this mean for me? As, I start my day, as I go about my week, I am going to look for opportunities to help, love, and serve those around me. That others become my focus, this is my prayer.
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