John Chapter Two

In John chapter 2 Jesus has just collected a following and called men to come follow him to be his disciples. The chapter starts off with the first miracle that Jesus ever performed, helping his mother at the wedding feast. But then a few verses later Jesus is throwing tables over in the temple. I see someone who is compassionate, caring, and wanting to help and do what he can. Yet, I also see someone who cannot stand to see the salvation of others ruined by the actions of other people. It makes him angry! And yes, there is so much to be gleaned from the first miracle and from the incident of commerce taking place in the temple, but this is not what draws my attention as I read today.

Instead I am drawn to the last two verses of the chapter:

But Jesus did not commit himself unto them, because he knew all men, and needed not that any should testify of man: for he knew what was in man.


What does this mean? I read many different translations of the same verses, and all I could get was that Jesus was not trusting himself to man because he knew that men were fickle. Think about it, people were flocking to Jesus, verse 23 says "many believed in his name, when they saw the miracles which he did." You see Jesus could see that they weren't following out of true conviction but because they saw miracles. Who wouldn't follow a guys running around performing miracles? Jesus knew that he could not count on this following and that this was not a true reformation and searching of the heart for most. It was for a few, but not the majority. In, other words what I hear from these verses is that Jesus could not get his hopes up, he knew what lay ahead even though it didn't seem as though that were the case at this point in time. What that must have felt like.

I couldn't stop there though, I wanted more understanding of this so I cross referenced looking for similar verses and found so much hope and promise. First stop 1 Samuel 16:7,

"...for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart."

1 Chronicles 28:9; (my personal favorite discovery in this search)

"And thou, Solomon my son, know thou the God of thy father, and serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind: for the Lord searcheth all hearts, and understandeth all the imaginations of the thoughts: if thou seek him, he will be found of thee; but if thou forsake him, he will cast thee off for ever."

I inserted my name in this one, and it was so powerful. I just have to have a good heart and be willing and there I will find God. It is so true. This year I wasn't sure where I was with God, but I was so fed up with everything that I knew. I didn't have peace and knew that what I thought was a spiritual life was not working and couldn't possibly be what God wanted for me. So I laid my heart open to God and told him I wanted to start over, with him showing me the way. I have never experienced God is such a way as I have this year.

So yes, God knows our hearts. Jesus knows our thoughts and he knows man. No, he couldn't commit himself to the mass and trust that they were going to carry him through and accept him; but he does commit to those whose hearts are true.

John Chapter One

When I first sat down to read this first chapter of John I wasn't quite sure what I was supposed to take from it. I didn't see anything, yet there is so much. So I prayed and asked to God to show me what he wanted me to take from this first chapter of John. Then I read again, and again. It took me a while but once it started it just seemed like so much was popping out that I was a bit overwhelmed. What was I thinking trying to read through a book of the Bible? There is so much that can be covered and discussed! So as I read the book of John and as I blog about it I will probably end up just highlighting some key things that stood out to me. It would be great to hear what anyone else gets as they read so please comment and leave your thoughts as well!

As I read John my goal is to understand and to become closer to Christ. I want to learn more of him and know more of him. So as I read I ask; what am I learning about Jesus? One of the first things that really struck me is verse eleven, "He came unto his own, and his own received him not." What a feeling that must have been? To come to a people that have received so much from God and be completely and utterly rejected! Yet this isn't what really hit me, the thought that gets me is would I have rejected Christ? So I start to wonder why did his own reject him? What were they missing? I want to know because I consider myself one of his, but I don't want to make the same mistake. I don't want to miss out on Jesus.

In verse 12 there is a promise though, "But as many as receive him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God..." This is what happens when we don't reject him! This is so powerful in the way that it confirms what I read in Steps to Christ, about how it is not of myself that I can become the child of God. He gives me that power, because of myself I can do nothing. I love this promise of being incorporated into the family of God by letting Jesus into my heart; by receiving him.

Towards then end of the chapter I see a glimpse of the Christian experience. There are two men that follow Jesus, but from a distance. They don't get too close, they're curious and want to know who he is. Then Jesus turns to them and asks "What do you seek?"  The two men answer that they want to see where he dwells, and then Jesus says "Come and see." They then abide with Christ, there is this time of bonding, getting to know Jesus. Then they go off to find others to bring to Jesus. I feel like even though Jesus isn't here in the flesh with us anymore that the experience is quite the same, at least for me. I know that for awhile I followed at a distance. I wasn't quite sure how far I wanted to go, or how close I wanted to be. Then boom, I hit this period in my life where the questions kept coming at me; what do you want. what are you looking for? It was then I that I felt the need to get closer to Christ, to go all in and really get to know who he is. And when I experience Christ, when I see and feel him in my life, I can't help but to want to tell others, and have them experience the same joy! The parallel is crazy!

I know these were some disjointed thoughts on fragments from the first chapter of John, but this is what spoke to me as I read this week. Overall though, from this first chapter I see an introduction of Jesus as God who came to walk with and redeem man.

Rejoicing in the Lord

Here we are in a new year, beginning a new semester and even with a fresh start I feel as though I am already behind. Yet, God always has perfect timing. I really wanted to have finished Steps to Christ last semester, but instead we are finishing up the last chapter the first week of a new semester. I do not believe there could have been a more perfect time to read this chapter.

As we begin a new year and everyone is making resolutions on how to make this year better than the last, I found in this chapter a resolution I want to make for myself. On the first page, "In every one of His children, Jesus sends a letter to the world." The author continues on to describe how some people will never see Jesus and understand his love from nature or from reading the pages of the Bible. They only see him revealed in the life of someone else. Isn't that crazy? Just think we could be what makes the difference in someone's life, we could be the reason that someone decides to follow Jesus; just by our lives! Taking a minute to think about just how HUGE that is, I became overwhelmed with wanting to be that person; wanting Jesus to be so in my life that and living in such a way that others desire to know Jesus because they have met me!!! So yes, you may have figured it out by now, one of my new year's resolutions is to be that person. This year I want to completely surrender myself to Christ so that when others see me they don't see me, they see Jesus' love and care.

That was only one of the concepts that completely enthralled me from this chapter. As I have spent this semester really searching and trying to truly connect with Christ I have been so incredibly blessed. I have experienced things with God that I never have before. I've noticed his care and working in my life in a way that I haven't before. This last chapter makes it clear that things are not always going to be incredible, there will be times when it seems as though life cannot get any worse. Connecting to Christ doesn't guarantee a life of easiness where everything is great and wonderful. There is will be hard times and discouragement. But she says when these times come remember the good things you have experienced, remember how Christ has revealed himself to you. It is by remembering these things that we can hold on to our faith and stay connected to Christ even when we feel as though we are slipping away. Don't remember the failures, instead remember the success and know that God is still there.

So now, as we begin the new semester I challenge you to step out and make it a great one. You are a letter to someone, what are you saying? What are they reading in your letter? And remember we all have failure and discouragement but we all have success too!

And now that we have finished reading Steps to Christ, you may wonder what is next. But have no fear, the blog will continue on with reading the gospel of John!

What to Do With Doubt

Doubt....sometime I believe people are afraid of this word, especially Christians. I think that sometimes we are scared to question and delve into hard subjects because we do not want to jeopardize our views or our beliefs. We might get swept away and pulled from the truth. Yet, when I read this chapter I get a different understanding.


Yes, there are times when I have my questions. Times when I doubt God, when I wonder if all of this that I believe is really true. This is because I am human. We humans, want to understand everything and know everything, but our very nature keeps us from doing so. Our finite and narrow minds can only see things in so many ways when there are multiple other scenarios that we cannot even fathom. Besides, if we understood and knew everything God knew, would that not cease to make him God?

"Do you think you can explain the mystery of God? 

   Do you think you can diagram God Almighty?

God is far higher than you can imagine, 

   far deeper than you can comprehend,  

(Job 11:7-8, The Message)

This does not mean that we do not try to understand. God wants us to search him out and grow in our knowledge of him but we have to recognize that there will always be opportunity to doubt. We must have faith.

Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD

(Isaiah 1:18, KJV)

But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

(2 Peter 3:18, KJV)

There will come a time when God will reveal to us all of the questions of our hearts but for now sometimes we have to be okay with not understanding. We continue to look and to search but that doesn't mean we have to forsake God just because we cannot explain every tiny little thing that we come across. God gives us plenty of evidence to believe in him and plenty of room not to believe. Have faith and know from experience and from our existence that God is real. And know that it is okay to have questions and to search for answers but may all this rest on faith!

We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

(1 Corinthians 13:12, The Message)

The Privilege of Prayer

After the two week break from the blog it was a little hard for me to get back again. I think more because the chapter I was coming back to and starting with was on prayer. I know that prayer is important but I feel that it is one of those subjects that I hear about so much, that I begin to start tuning out anything on the subject. It is as if I think I am an expert on the subject or something, although I know that I am far from it. However, God never ceases to amaze me. As I read this chapter he brought out so much to me and still spoke to me even with my high minded attitude.

In the first paragraph of the chapter I read about how praying and communing with God is more than "meditating upon His works, His mercies, His blessings;" it is also having something to say about our actual life. I thought it was weird to read this because I feel like the opposite is true of my prayer life. My prayers are usually concerning my life and not so much about the blessings, mercies and works of God. So I realize that as in everything else there should be balance. I need to think about God and all that he has done and also share about my own life. It would be like talking to a friend, I open up about my life but I also recognize and share theirs.

Then sometimes I feel guilty about unloading on God. It is exactly the same guilt I feel when I finally open up to my friends. I believe that my problems are my own and that I should not burden anyone else with them and so when I do I feel guilty about it and think that I am bringing that person down and burdening them with my problems. And I do the same with God. I am reluctant to bring my problems to him sometimes, thinking that I come to him too much. But, in this chapter I learned that I could never burden God and I could never make him tired of my worries. He wants me to constantly seek and turn to him. He wants me to know that every hour of every day he hears me. I can talk to him anytime, anywhere, anyplace.

It is so humbling to know how much God loves me and wants to be a part of my life and how little I reflect the same desire. But the more and more I learn of him the more and more I desire him! Especially when I read something so powerful as this:

The relations between God and each soul are as distinct

and full as though there were not another soul upon the earth

to share His watchcare, not another soul for whom He

gave His beloved Son. -p. 100

A Knowledge of God

As I was reading this week, there were two words that stood out to me; Time and Listen.

It just seems impossible to have time for everything some days. Between school, work, obligations, friends, family, and God, there just is not enough hours in the day. Something always gets the shaft and I am ashamed to say this but more often than not, it is God. *sigh* Wow, even just writing that out pains me and makes me feel so sad. Sad, that I turn away from the one who gave me so much, who gave His life for mine.

I am hurt so much when a friend doesn't make time for me. Yet, I turn around and do the same to Jesus. I know how it feels, I know how it hurts, but I say he understands. Yeah, he understands. He understands the same thing I understand when time isn't made for me; that you don't mean enough to that person, you are not a top priority.

And then when I do make time for Jesus, it is all about me. I ramble on and on about my life, my worries, my fears. I am easily distracted and he definitely does not have my undivided attention. But today, he tells me; Listen. And I'm listening...I hear his pain....I hear his hurt....

For the first time in a long time....I hear and I know what I want to do. I know that I don't want to cause any more pain. I want time and I want to listen.

The Work and the Life

Today, I have figured out why my spiritual growth has been lacking. God has revealed to me through this chapter in Steps to Christ why I haven't grown and come closer to him. My problem: selfishness. I have been so absorbed in myself and my spiritual journey; focused on how I need to grow and how I feel that I'm not being reached. My focus, all wrong. I have been blessed with the knowledge of a loving Savior and what he can do in my life and yet I've been concerned how to get more from him. My focus should have been how to share what I have, how to reach those around me, then the "more" would have come.

That was not the only part of my life that self-interest has taken over but in everything I do it seems as though it is something to benefit myself. As I sit here, writing this I try and think of the last time that I did something for someone else that I was not required to do. I come up with nothing. rather I come with all the excuses I have made; "I need time for myself," "I need to do my schoolwork and study so I get can a really good grade," "I need to save my money, cause I am saving up to buy myself something." I can't go out and be a blessing on others because I am so focused on me and what I need. I'm not saying that these concerns do not have a place in my life, but they should not be the reason that I don't help others. I shouldn't place myself about someone else's need. When did I become so self-absorbed?

In this chapter I learned that "labors of love" are what bring you closer to Christ and that it is by unselfish effort that I work out my own salvation, but the source of it all is a truly converted heart. So as I give all to Christ, as I surrender, I need to stop looking at how this is going to benefit me. It's not about me, it's about those around me. What does this mean for me? As, I start my day, as I go about my week, I am going to look for opportunities to help, love, and serve those around me. That others become my focus, this is my prayer.