Confession

Before I being my reflection on chapter 4, there's something I would really like to share because it was such a great experience for me this week. When I stared this whole Steps to Christ read through it was because I was struggling spiritually and I really wanted to connect with God. So this year I've been making a decided effort to really step forward and just be honest with God; letting God know that I don't want to do my devotions and I don't have time for him. I know that sounds harsh but that is what my actions were saying, so I made it real and said it aloud. Then I prayed, I prayed that God would put the desire in my heart to want to spend time with him and not to do it out of obligation. This week, I finally felt that prayer answered! Out of the blue, I was bouncing off the walls when it was time to spend time with Jesus. I literally ran to my room and opened my Bible and just couldn't wait to read those words. I don't know what happened, and I don't know where that excitement came from, but it came and I know it was because God put it in my heart. So the short of it all, God's been working with me and he is faithful!!!

This week in reading about confession there was this one paragraph that I believe just really hit home for me. So I'm just going to restate it again here:
         
     When sin has deadened the moral perceptions, the wrongdoer does not discern the defects of his character nor realize the enormity of the evil he has committed; and unless he yields to the convicting power of the Holy Spirit he remains in partial blindness to his sin. His confessions are not sincere and in earnest. To every acknowledgement of his guilt he adds an apology in excuse of his course, declaring that if it had not been for certain circumstances he would not have done this or that for which he is reproved.


I really feel that my moral perceptions have been deadened. There are so many things that are so easier for me to do now the before really bothered my conscience. I just keep on though and justify it so that I can in some way pacify my conscience. I need to really just yield myself to the Holy Spirit and not run from who I am or things I've done. I do not need to excuse them and make them seem like good things when they aren't. I need to own up and just be honest with myself and with God. But because I can only do this through Christ, I am going to stop making excuses and when I start I'm just going to pray.