I've been struggling a little lately. I have been trying to take time to spend with Jesus everyday but it seems like it just isn't happening. This last week or so has been incredibly busy and I just feel like I'm on the go all the time; trying to squeeze in time to eat and sleep along the way. It's as though I have no time for Jesus. How can I possibly have no time for Jesus? How can I not have time for the one who has given his life for me? How can I not possibly figure out how to make that time?
This year has been an amazing growing experience for me in my relationship with Christ. I know that I have come so far and that I am so much different than when I started out at the beginning of this school year. However, there is that tendency for things to plateau. I just get comfortable and love the ways things are and stop to seek and yearn for God. But I know that I must fight against it, it is only a temptation from the devil in which I will slowly fade away from the presence of Christ. And I know that Jesus doesn't want our relationship to stay where it is, I know he want it to grow and to continue to grow.
This is why John 11:16 sticks out to me today. As I read it I was just blown away by the thought and the words of Thomas. Jesus is talking about going to Bethany which is in Judea because of Lazarus. The last time Jesus was here the people tried to stone him. The disciples think he is crazy to go back to a place where he could potentially be killed. Yet, Thomas speaks up and says, "Let us also go, that we may die with him." Commitment.
As I reflect on the verse and on my week, I have to ask myself where is my commitment? I can't even make sacrifices in my time to spend with Jesus; let alone be willing to sacrifice my life. I want to grow, I want to be more in love with Jesus, I want him to be all I live for so that my life is of little consequence. I want to be able to join in with Thomas.
Never lose your hunger and thirst for Jesus, for righteousness. Thank you.
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